there's always a first time....

so life has been pretty bleak. it has!!!ok, not really. anyhow, my cousin has made me godma to his child. so yea. thing is, the baby is like 3 months old now, and i've never carried him before until today. i always slink away whenever anyone suggests that i carry him. to be honest, i've never carried a baby under 1 year before. not even my own siblings. i dont know. i hate kids. babies. toddlers. all that fall in the below 10 category. ok, maybe below 7. that's not the point. thing is, i was so skeptical about carrying him, but my cousin insisted. this time i cldnt escape. so sitting down stiffly, they placed nicholas against my arm, like u know, so i ended up carrying this little baby,that had difficulty sitting up on its own. he was heavy. he looked at me inquisitively, wondering who i was, what i am. i wondered the same things about him. babies dont fascinate me the way they do others. nor do i find them and their ways amusing. but, well, maybe he's my godson and all, but i suddenly understood what all the hype was about. he just looked at the greenhorn me, and knew that i wa uncomfortable holding him,but he didnt struggle. he sat still, not squirming at all. and stared at me. he's chubby tiny fingers clung onto the cloth draped around him, before moving on to gripping my finger. it was so incredible. guess never really had the 'baby' experience. i hate them what. well, after this enlightening experience, i may have changed my views on babies, but i still dont want any of my own.

below's a pic of baby nicholas. he's about barely a month old in it.


my godson, baby nicholas!!! i'm a godma!!!
copyright my ass