eluding the real me

aqualung - jethro tull
the bravery - out of line
baha men - best years of our lives
micheal buble & nelly furtado - quando quando quando
rogue wave - endless shovel


Thursday, January 27, 2005

'missed' opportunity

i havent studied anything 'cept for immunology since open house began till now. am i screwed or am i screwed? and im stil at chp 4 for immuno anyway. so not much progress. have no motivation. i fal asleep whenever i take out my notes to study. or i get distracted by a million other things. grrr. what am i to do with myself? im so determined to study, the drive is there, but the heart isnt. im starting to whine i know. but i cant help it. argh.

maybe im just not cut out for this.

Monday, January 24, 2005



guess whaT? hahaa. my borther wants to kill me. we just had dinner. and he kinda lost his appetite. coz of me. apparently i was half-blind when i was washing the rice, popped it into the microwave, took it out for dinner for just us two. hahaa. im so giggling at the thought of what happened,albeit a bit gross.

so i was like, there's all this stupid stringy things in the rice, wonde what it is. as i take a closer look, it's worms!!! freaking freshly born worms!!really. their dead, since they've been microwaved, but it really disgusted my bro, who was shovelling a heapful of rice into his mouth. ahhaa. hahaa. so we consumed a little worms, so what? well, he's pissed off at me, and stormed out of the house. whatever brother. not my fault i didnt take notice of them. if u had cooked the rice, we wldnt have been eating worms.

went to open the rice bin. at first, u dont notice anything strange, till i saw one little worm crawling around. gosh. their really like fine string, dont really notice them except for their gray heads. i think their maggots. ok. im all geared up for fear factor. okok. so im gross. but i ate it too!!!

worms, anyone???

fucking had it

i've had it with computers. they're all fucked up. this freaking desktop is brand new, and supposed ot be top of the line, but i fucking dont know how to set up wireless internet aka LAN conenction to it. and my freaking laptop. fuck it. all my files. all my shit in it. and smthg crept into it, and now it's fucked up too. so basically, im suffering to the fucking max. ultimate frustration. borrowed a portable hard disk from sean, and tt's fucked too. so now im at a major loss. fuck it. im really at rock-microchipping-bottom. grrrr. i wanna slam all these gadgets on the walls, crash them nto one another. burn them to cinders. i wanna scream!!!!!! dad's not home to help me. my bro is fucked up just like the eletronics, and mom and sis got less of an IQ on computers than i do. what am i to do!!!!!fuck it. fuck it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! iam soooooooooooo angry!!!!!!!im gonna combust!!! enough enough enough!!!!! enough's enough. fucking had it. i officially vow off relying on computers. fuck them all. anger surging. ROARRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucking irate. fuck fuck fuck. why now. fuck you. fuck them all. fuck you all. fuck everything that contributed to the make of these insolent devices. fuck it. im a living irony, coz im using one of them at this very moment. fuck it. fuck it. msn cant even work, so i cant ask anybody to help me out here. dang it. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK THIS COMPUTER-RELIANT WORLD.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

borders books

wow wow wow!!! went down to SP to see the canoe polo match! think the guys' match was super duper ROAR!!!! ahaha. anyhow, went to borders, since they were having discounted prices!! got home not too long ago. yes yes. eunice! instead of buying one book each, we ended up buying a library of books. okok. not really. finally got the chance to purchase 'SPARTAN'.really been dying to read tt. anyhow, got 'curious incident of the dog in the night-time'. think i'll go back in end of feb or march to get 'the life of pi'. anyhow,the two of us shared the '3 for 2' offer books. got '5 pple you meet in heaven', 'tuesdays with morrie' and 'the nanay diaries'. cool shite balls. i really shld be y but im almost done with 'tuesdays with morrie'. it's so .... enriching. okok. off i go.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

the unfamiliar

when i board a bus to go(hardly ever,usually the ka-ching cabs) or return home from school, i would se tons of familiar faces, pple from the jcs and secondary schools, pple that i used to be classmates with, pple whom i actually am able to strike up a conversation with. yet, these days, when im sitting alone, and the bus halts at those familiar stops, a line of strangers come aboard. nothing more. i feel maybe it's my fault. i dont know what im talking about.

on a lighter note. im watching american idol auditions right now, instead of studying, as per usual. tv overrides studying. ahahhahaha. im insane. someone give me inspiration balls. grrrr. oh! funny pple singing! im off to glue my eyes to the set.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

funny thing to think back on

2nd entry of the day. dont normally make two entries in a day. anyhow, i dont know why i was thinking abt my daddy suddenly. maybe coz he jsut left last night for japan/korea/frisco/new zealand/guam. means he wont be home for roughly 2 weeks. yeps. awful long time, means we wld all have the bear the grunt of my mom's tempremental moments, countless mood swings, and crazy outbursts. i was thinking abt dad since last night, watching that meg ryan movie 'hanging up'. there were so many comparisons i could make,and even more fond memories of my own to add.

how her dad let her stand on his feet, and they danced around, i did that too.

how her parents were quarrelling, and when she tried to grasp their attention,and got hurt in the process, it was daddy who came running. i did that too.

how the person i was most glad to see at home unexpectedly would definitely be dad.

most of my baby photos were either of me alone, or dad and me, as my mom felt she didnt want to be in pictures till she lost weight.

daddy was the one who took me out, my first trip overseas to paris, mom was with aunty, while daddy entertained me. i rmb vividly that when daddy went back to sG, we were still in paris, and mom left me in a store, forgetting to take me home.

my ballet lessons, my jazz lessons, my organ lessons, daddy let me take whatever lessons i wanted. when i hated my first tap dance lesson, he let me drop out.

bedtime stories. daddy wld read to me every night, even though i was a proficient reader at the tender age of 21 months,i still loved to hear those stories he read to me. believe it or not, i still keep 2 books very clos to my heart. their in my shelf right now.he never read them to belle or marcus. only me. one is 'my daddy' the other is 'baby's bedtime'. i cant bear to throw them out.

he thought me my first words, 'papa', dedicated to him. and he thought me how to spell my first word, 'A-P-P-L-E'.

whenever he came back from an overseas trip, he would buy a little smthg back for us, and even if i didnt like it , i would appreciate it, and keep it with me.

if he was overseas for long periods of time, he would send postcards from the coutnry he was in, and address them to each of us personally. he's stopped doing this though, as this job had too tight a schedule.

he used to cavort me around when we still had a car. especially in primary school, when my saturdays were filled to the brim with ccas abd external activities. he wld take time off his work, and be my personal chaffeur.

when i forget to bring smthg to school, he would actually drive to school, and pass me my prj/assignment/book just so i wont get in trouble.

though he was given the charge of being the disciplinarian in the family, he was never as strict as mom, and he only caned us with a valid reason. and he told us why we were getting the beating before he dealt it out.

he never punished me when the principal called the house in pre-primary, than again in primary 1 and 2, to complain about me. he sat me down and spoke gently, while my mother felt embarrassed and her anger surpassed that of the most active volcano.

when he quit his job during the recession, and was left jobless, he still saved every cent he had and bought stuff for me. unneccessary items, but i loved it all the same.

whenever we go for holidays, he would be the one going on the amusement park rides with us, whilst my mom would stay below, snapping pictures, eating, or keeping my sister company, as she's still too short to go on certain rides.

the list can go on for as far back as i can remember. whwat happened to my relationship with him now? i dont know. it seems strained. i feel like i can t really confide in either of the parental units anymore. it's hard and very taxing on me. maybe becasue their very strict. i have to report my every movement to them, and when i fail to do so, or 'hand-in' a wrong report, they go berserk, or just my luck that oneof their many friends spotted me, and boy would trouble be brewing back home. i dont know why i suddenly have these thoughts. it's odd.

stars and flies

just felt like posting up some pictures. feeling bored. gonna bathe star now.

copyright my ass

two monkeydoggs
copyright my ass

pooped out
copyright my ass

it's a dragonfly! not a flying fish!
copyright my ass

Thursday, January 13, 2005

now is as good a time as ever

it has come to my realization that common tests are two weeks away, and i have alot of catching up to do. literally. im really trying my best to get into the mood of studying. really i am. actually paid attention during tutorial today, maybe it's coz it was a presentation by the class, but still, think shld adopt a new healthy lifestyle. eat healthy. think healthy. study healthy. must start mugging. must transform myself into a nerd. acquire a pair of dorky specs to seem more intellectual than i really am, than maybe the physical change could rub off into making me more as intelligible as i look. darn it. need to brush up tremendously on all my subjects, need to practice more math, need to properly research for upcoming presentations and projects, i cant let these group members down. no more shoddy work, no more last minute assignments, better buck up joyce! yee-haw!!! yes, referring to myself in th 3rd person. excellent. anyhow, i really really wanna pass all modules. god please help me. i promise to be a better girl from now on. omg, first tiem im actually pleading god to help me. better late than never. sheesh! look no vulgarities at all in this entry. it's a sign.

Monday, January 10, 2005

did i say band boys are cool? they're HOTT!!!!!!

i am insane. hahahaa. shant elaborate the topic above. go figure. anyhow, friday potluck was wonky. half left for zouk!!! well ladies, pls send me the photos, yea? anyhow, saturday came and musikart arrived. it was eye candy heaven i tell you!!!! CUTE GUY OVERLOAD!!!omg, my heart was doing cartwheels!!!! every band that came on had at least one cute guy init. i was like, mouth agape, just savouring all the dee-lish guys before me. nothing more to say. shall write them down somewhere, i really hate typing, coz all these pple on msn are nudging me simultaneously, like they planned to u know. im going dizzy. and nicole's surprise party, i wasnt there to surprise her, but u pple were hilarious, ahaahahahah. what a tale. it's super duper funny. really. u al spoilt the surprise urselves. ahahhahahahaa. gosh. good thing we didnt burn down her house. oh no! we didnt clean up the deco in the attic!!!!oh well, had funy seeing u all in pyjamas, to think nicle wanted to go clubbing!!!ahhahaa. oooh, sorry rena!!!! wld loved ot have sent you off, but i was beyond tired, and my eyes were no larger than slits. first time i didnt send you off when ur departuring for the states. but i'll cya again right? dia said ur gonna be back in june?hope so. *smuacks* study hard and cya in 6 months, hopefully i can acquire my driver's license by then. and u can convert urs. okok, gdnite all. i wanna be studious. today i revised immuno. did the first one and half topics. it's an accomplishment ok. i rock. kind of. oh, and sorry if ur tailbone hurts fei, think it was one prank too many. *apologises*. ok, tmr is another week closer to the common tests. must start being a mugaholic. learning from those classes which i've been in this yr. awesome studying man, these pple. their meticulous, and so unlike me. oh well. needed that extra push and shove i guess. for real this time. no more NATO.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

band boys are cool

yes-sir-ree!!! came back from the last night of prayer from uncle 'teddy boy' house. u know what? one of his mateys from his band is prety gorgeous. noticed him at the funeral wake a few weeks back,ok i know i ought to be doing smthg more productive or be in a state of mourning but oh well, im young! and it was more a family reunion.

had a wonderful new year's party at clara's. the food was delish!!!! yummy yummy yummy i got love in my tummy!!! and i think i had 1 drink too many. maybe 5 drinks too many. i kept losing!!! since dee passed all her 'luck' to me. ahhaa.

ooooh, watching a documentary on stone henge now1!! excellent! it's so intriguing. am i becoming a boring person because i watch so much documentaries? no idea. ahh! explaining how he winter solstice ties in with stone henge. ok, gotta go pay closer attention to this programme.

oooh, saw a really sort write up in the newspapers today. cool. really. so this is gonna be pretty public huh? haha. well pple, c'mon down, it's a saturrday!!!

musik art 2005
copyright my ass