eluding the real me

aqualung - jethro tull
the bravery - out of line
baha men - best years of our lives
micheal buble & nelly furtado - quando quando quando
rogue wave - endless shovel


Friday, April 29, 2005

house of wax

i tell you, courage is such a hard thing to come by. but, i keep forgetting to think about my results, until now. oh well. i all go pluck this courage from the garden of some heroic icon. boo. i've also realized that whenever i have online covnersations, technically any form or typed conversation or msging, i use the word 'boo', for no reason at all. oh well. have i mentioned that despite having thoughts about leaving ngee ann, im still going back there thrice a week? ridiculous huh? hehhee.

oh look!!! it's the 29th already. time for birthday bells for phaelyn, denise goh and neha 'molly' jain!!!! woo-hoo. happy 19th to you all. yeps.

i havent seen a movie in ages, and i leave you all with gorgeous pcitures of chad and one from the poster, where the wax figure looks like the outline of paris hilton. funny but true!!! yes yes. here they are:

chad micheal murray --> yea!!!
copyright my ass

i think it's paris hilton.
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i just cant get enough of him.
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Sunday, April 24, 2005

just my luck....it's been bad.

check it out. ok, it's been floating around the internet for quite some time now, but i only came across it today. a 'last supper' replacing the men with women, and the supposed mary-magdalene with a male model. if you guys wanna read the actual article, here it is over here mateys! it really is rather intriguing, dont you think?

copyright my ass

just look at the picture. would any of you have come up with a better advert than that? i sure wldnt have thought of it. i mean, we're living in a male-dominated world, and only after a few thousand years has it started to open it's doors to women, but unfortuantely for our 'species', we have to use the little doggy flap instead of the big man doors. and that photo above holds some mystery as well. look to the right, below the table, do u spot a hand being used as a perch for a rock dove? yes? where exactly did that hand come from? to whom does it belong to? wad does that gray dove symbolize? that peace is a graying matter? that we sought after it, yet, it's a long way away? and now, come to think of it, we look at the original last supper art piece, and we say that the person dressed in the same colours, but opposite placings of it, as jesus, is the woman, mary magdalene. but somehow, to me, that person looks somewhat androgynous. as androgyny lurks in that picture, so does it reside here. with back facing us, how would we really know that that person is a male? or female, for that matter? we can only assume with whatever visuals that have been made available to us. it may be a physique of a man, but unles he turned around, or showed us some sign of hi manliness, we could assume that it may be an androgynous woman too. this is blurring the lines of sexuality. it's like when we go out shopping, and we spot someone androgynous, would you think to urself, "is that a man or a woman?", because, more certain than not, i always ask myself tt, or at least ask my friends that, just to satisfy my curiosity. to make it an even more confusing illusion, there's only two distinct types of shoes being worn, white mary-jane heels, and beige mary-jane heels. what's the catch for this one? do u realize that their legs are all entangled in one anothers? so, you cant really define which leg belongs to whom. yea, their outfit may match with the one of the legs below, but only one, where's the other leg then? im too tired to read more into the legs thing. oh! only one person is looking in the camera's direction, the 'disciple' sitting next to the female christ. she looks like she's keeping a secret, possibly the betrayal? whatever. im way out of sync here.

as of now, i really have nothing better to do. besides devising ways in which i can break the news to my parents subtly. as of yet, they dont know. i managed to swipe the results slip away from the pile of post.right now, im nursing a cold, think i might be coming down with the flu. boo. hate being sick, especially in lieu of recent events, i should try and keep healthy, at least smthg should be going good for me, right? wrong. i got the dreaded bleed last night. excellent. bleeding from the rear, room chockful of used tissue, hiding three Fs, and living amidst a sea of lecture notes, what more could i ask for?

i really wanna say smthg sensible to myself, smthg to convince myself that everything would be smooth sailing after i break the news of my drastic failings to my parents, but i cannot help but anticipate for the worse. call me a pessimist, but when you're living in my home, hah, you gotta be one, bcoz behind every door is a surprise. not literal doors, duh. but ive come to this conclusion. no i dont have any form of closure whatsoever.

oh, i saw mrs lewis in church today. apparently she got a skills upgrade, and has now been transferred to ij bukit timah. [in case some twits are unaware, it's a primary school.] and it just got me thinking[like, wow, thinking - again!], primary school was sucha breeze. it was all fun and games, the only thing i had trouble with was my chinese, but i scored a B for that in psle anyway. but look, we didnt need to revise our work, we didnt need to pour over our books before exams, we didnt need to complete all our homework, yet we managed to clinch top-notch results. amazing how things take a turn for the worse when we mature. everyone has this preconceived notion that as we mature, we tend to think better, take action on our thoughts, in fact, put more thought into our work, but it's all wrong. yes we do think more, to the extent whereby we overthink, causing us to waste time, and causing the illness known as 'doubt', more commonly known as 'what-if' or 'if-only' syndrome. looking back, i realize that we didnt need much to keep us occupied. give the kids a chair or two, and you wld see them make smthg of it. invent a little game, or jsut plainly ignore it, and sit on the ground. but now, place a couple of young adults in a room with just a few chairs, and what do u get? you would jsut see these strangers take their seats, and pretend they are in the room alone, often shooting glances at the other person, just to 'check them out'. stupid aint it? ok, i seriously do not know how the conversation veered in this direction, but whatever.

as i mentioned before, i was bored. WAS. but now i feel the need to go back to writing smthg productive. yes. havent written anything for personal enjoyment, in a long time. no, not porn you idiots. who the hell translates pornography into words? and that statement is sure to attract many sniggerers. okok. oh hell, i wanna go back to entertaining myself through self-literature.

Friday, April 22, 2005

it just aint right....

so everyone doesnt have to ask...
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maybe it's my own fault that my term concluded this way. maybe not. but i swear upon the holy lands that i didnt expect it to turn out like that. the worst part is, it's been done, and i have no control in rectifying it. so no use crying over spilt milk, right? hey, who on earth get's 3 Fs?? heck, i've never in my entire life gotten more than 2 Fs in a term, and that was back when i had like 10 different subjects to juggle. pondering to myself last night, what should i do? continue in this treacherous trek downhill, or just jump off a cliff? the latter would be more convenient, taking the easy way out. but do i ever make life easy for myself? nopes.

now i feel that i've been cheated. cheated by my own self-confidence. nice. i realized that a funny yet vicious cycle has formed for me. when i do persevere, i end up with Fs. when i dont give two hoots, i get Ds. can u imagine if i didnt show up for school at all, and jsut came straight for exams? maybe i would have a chance of scoring As. if only. i have nothing else to say, if anyone wants to rub it in my face that they scored distinctions for the subjects which i failed, it would be indifferent to me. im just having second thoughts about packing up and leaving ngee ann for good. no use my being here, a burden to the science community. should start afresh. and im jsut ranting on and on.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

elton john

yeps, here i am, stayed up the whole night to complete silly cow fyp reports. biotech is really sucha chore. i swear. anyhow, why elton? the tv, my trusty friend accompanied me throughout the night. and now it's playing the 'original sin' video by elton. oh god. i forgot how much i lvoe this song. and the video is funny shite. mandy moore as some cinderella, justin timberlake as elton john. then there are parodied versions of sunny and cher, bette midler, barbra striesand. oooh...now it's 'turn the lights out when you leave'. i really miss elton songs. call me a fag lover, but his songs are wonderful balls. love tiny dancer, candle in the wind, what else. there's so many. but his ballads are tons better than the upbeat ones. those upbeats ones is jsut one beat too queer for me. heh. okok. back to work. i always find ways to stray away. long day ahead of me. luckily i slept like uber many hous yesterday. ahahaha.

Friday, April 15, 2005


it's wrong. human instinct tells us that it's wrong to euthanize fellow human beings, or what we call mercy killings. yet, how could we be so insensitive to animals? ok, im not saying it's wrong to put terminally ill creatures out of their misery, but perfectly healthy ones? it's plain wrong. like alligators. just because they pose a threat to the residents of that particular area, it deosnt mean that he ought to be put to sleep. in fact, as im watching this, this reptile is pretty tame. it doesnt snap at humans, it only eats human food, not humans. how do i know this? because when the stupid commercial trapper tries to lure it with pork loins, it merely swims away. but when bread or marshmallows are tossed into the water, it laps it up like a happy child. but seriosuly, it takes two hands to clap. why the hell are pple feeding these creatures? and why would you need to euthanize the poor thing, when you could actually put it in a conservation centre.

cruelty to animals is on the rise. as sadistic as i can get, i dont think im heartless enough to marr the beauty of true nature. unlike the white mice that are born and bred in the lab, and are meant to die, these other animals are born to live. to carry out the beauty that is mother nature. i might be crazy to say this, but i think im insanely jealous of conservationists. i have no more mood to type abt animal cruelty. it's heart-breaking, yet i wanna explore more of it, as in, i want to catch pple in the act. i think has to do with tt video of several china workers skinning minks and other fluffy animals alive. alive. jsut ripping out their fur. quite cool, but inhumane.

i wanna go live with the pikas in the mountains.

p.s: skinned again. blog-skinned that is. not bad. the picture is enrapturing man.

Friday, April 08, 2005


my life has become almost routine.
awake by noon.
attempted exercise till 2.
ransack house for edibles, considered lunch.
look at mom watching pope-cu-mentaries.
make new computer discoveries.
read fiction.
recently, read project-themed non-fiction.
eg: Sorption and Biosorption.
entertain my pets.
oh. pope-pu-neral.
think dinner would be at 8. as usual.
after that tv programmes.
till late.
sleep at 2am.
life cycle begins once again.
some days they are different.
days when i leave the house.
that's all.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

rob thomas

ta-daa!! rob thomas has gone solo!!!! and guess waD? his curly locks may be gone, but he's cute all the same!!! yeps.

rob thomas from matchbox 20
copyright my ass

Wednesday, April 06, 2005


mine are killing me!!!!

i am me

i am me. i am me. i am whoever i say i am. eminem renditions. ahhaha. yes yes yes. i am me!!! only i can be me!! you nonsensical pple today. im so insulted. really!!! ok, not superbly insulted, but just, eeew. no one can be like me. i am a unique individual. i may be a little(okok, in comparison to the rest of psf, ALOT) bimbotic, a lot psychotic, and the only one from that sodden dept of school, but urgh! i bet if she knew the fact of the matter, she wld be insulted as well. ahahhaa. omfg. well, she wld be insulted for a different reason though. excellente. ok, off i go to bed. have to start FYP tomorrow. really. i must i must i must. i must increase my bust. omfg!!!no way....my boobies are nigg enough thnx. im going absolutely nutty. must be the crazy comments passed today.

Monday, April 04, 2005

two posts - im bored shitless

yes, i think it's the first time i posted twice in the same day. unless u count my very first post. i think it was two as well. anyhow....im bored to shittles. dang. it's been raining cats and dogs (mice and bats, frogs and gnats...) so i guess it was a good thing i stayed in. i was so bored, when the rain stopped, i went to gardens and bought vcds.
  • blue car
  • adaptations
  • iron jawed angels
yeps. been meaning to watch these. oh well. bought them. spending unneccessary money. okok, my mom gave me money to buy dog food, it was cheaper than expected, so ta-daa. im bored to the extent that i wanna start working to. everyone's gone for attachment/holiday/OIAP/wherever and im here. bored. think wanna get a weekend job. right now i've got a slot to work on monday at my mom's friend's office, the architect firm. he's gonna pay $50 from 10am till abt 3pm??i think arnd there lar. but tt job not stable, he only needs me when no one's in the office. bleah.

weekend jobs, lobangs anyone???

and so the search begins. im so sodden, im listening to mambo music in my room right now. *does a spastic rendition* "Only you can set me free....coz i'm guilty, guilty, guilty as a girl can be...." oooh...next song..." girls just wanna have fun...girls..wanna have...*too toot too toot...*..."

did u see my photoshop stuff? yes..finally toggled arnd with it. and ended up reading more online tutorials instead. i so suck at computer stuff.

my first photoshop

i really want this. *my 1st photoshop*
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VW beetle *this really suxx*
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american idiot *trying out some tutorial thingy*
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Saturday, April 02, 2005

movie wishlist

my exams are finally over. big whoop. not. i went to bribe the acmb lecturer after the paper. told him to help me pass,coz i just wanna get the hell out of poly. so now i can finally get down to watching all the crap i d/l. and also, movies anyone? think alot of it hasnt come to singapore yet, but heck. i can wait. i dont have IAP, project instead, so yea, i think i wanna find some part time job over the weekends only. hmm...so if i find a job tt pays $7/hr, work twice a week, for 6 hrs a time, that would be 4 weeks, therefore i would have earned $336 per month. do that for two months i would have $672 total. ambitious? with that money i can buy some stuff. oh yea, i called up mom's office to cancel my air ticket. it's quite senseless going alone i guess. who the fuck goes for a holiday to the US alone? not backpacking, jsut going there. can u imagine being n disneyland and universal studios all by urself? retarded. okok. time to search for a weekend job. oh yes! my movie wishlist. here goes:

  • Beauty Shop
  • A lot like love
  • Guess who
  • Sin city
  • Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous
  • The Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
  • Spanglish
  • A very long engagement
  • The Pacifier [i have it!!!]
  • Racing Stripes [i have it!!!]
  • Maria Full of Grace [i have it!!! damn. no subtitles.]
  • In Good Company
  • Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
  • D.E.B.S.
  • Kinsey
  • The Ring Two/Samara [i have it. not scary.bleah]
  • Born into Brothels [someone find this for me pls.]
  • Finding Neverland
  • Little Black Book [maybe i'll go buy this.]
  • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire [omfg!!!opening in november though.omfg!!!]
  • many, many more......
for now i guess, as much as i can rmb. wldnt mind seeing anything else tt's good though. okok. having a binding headache.

**must watch!!!
***i can't wait!!!! wheeeeeeeeee