eluding the real me

aqualung - jethro tull
the bravery - out of line
baha men - best years of our lives
micheal buble & nelly furtado - quando quando quando
rogue wave - endless shovel


Monday, September 29, 2003

love is such a funny thing

got this out of a teen book im reading.super tragedy-striking families..et..the usual stuff teeenage girls love to revel in. yeps..but this is pretty good. "Love is fragile at best and often a burden or something that blinds us.Falling in love means enrolling yourself in the school of disappointment. Being human means failing each other often, and no two people fail each other more than two people who pledge to do things for each other that they'll never do because they're just incapable of it."
ok..now come to think of it, it doesnt sound too logical, but wadd the heck.gotta read the book to understand the lingo. yeps.
ok. oh...had a nice...erm...bitching session with daph and avril last thrusday. talked abt almost everything under the sun.not badd. ok..how's the week been? it just started,so it's fine i guess.'cept for the fact tt our entire class got screwed by mrs tang today..ahahhaa. ok..shldnt be laughing but it was..erm..entertaining.yea, coz no one bothered with some presentation crap we were upposed to do. ahhahaa. oh yea, Saturday was the musik art thingy. it was ok i guess. small turn out, but it looked lyke the psf pple enjoyed themsleves. ahaha...lyke alyssa n i (and sometimes samantha) went to hang at the aircon area..ahaha....slackers. oooh!!! thnx for the mrs FIELD's yao!!!!!! smackerlicious!!!! ahahahaha. tired lyke fuck these days. dunno why. oooh...finally did my obc tutorial...all on my own too!!! ahahaha. yeps..but next week gotta test..sheesh....why da fuck am i in biotecH?
biotech + joyce a. = doomed for failure
the only equation i know. lame..but true. nothing happening is happening. get wad i mean? ok. i really wanna go enjoy some tv programmes. im a real tv junkie now.

Friday, September 26, 2003

destiny's dynasty

are we all really leading predestined liveS? are we not open to choices? destiny..commonly known as fate, is wad most pple believe we posess. that our life has already been blueprinted out for us,no way out. i find it as absolutely gibberish. yes, our life may be leaning towards a certain path, but it is up to free will to pick which way we wld lyke to travel. how can those looney superstitious pple believe that fate is due retribution and other wrongdoings or good tidings that we've done? destiny. "leave it to destiny" - a phrase that i've heard multiple times,from many different pple. gullibles. no mind of their own. most pple who believe in fate r those who r either lovestruck or heartbroken or just purely leading dull lives. yes, stories and movies r all the more interesting when things lyke destiny and soulmates r inculcated into the plot, but in reality, the only soul mates we're gonna have r ourselves. human nature is such tt there wld always be temptation, and we cant live to love that one person forever if there isnt anything new or lively abt him/her. ok, maybe tt's my personal opinion, i prefer interesting,unpredictable pple compared to dull,lifeless souls, who have a routine. wad im trying to say is, supposing u have a dull partner, does it mean tt u have to travel down a boring path ur entire life?no... therefore, scrap the fate crap, and choose ur own way! yea! i mean, why suffer the wrath of smthg non-existent? ok. soul mates. wad exactly is a soul mate? ur lifelong love?a person u were maent to be with? if so, why cant ur soul mate be ur best friend, ur mom, or even ur pet dog? i mean, as long as u r close to the person, trust the person wholly,feel that there is an unwritten understanding btwn the two,doesnt tt mean u cld be soul mates? sometimes i sit and wonder; what happens to the pple who dont find their soul mates?r they unhappy? or wad if their nicely settled down, then they eventually realize tt someone else is their long-lost love, wld they drop everything and just run into the other person's arms? i dont know. love is such a funny and complicated topic, i daren't cross the barriers to get to it. i wld rather stay away from it, coz, in my eyes, i foresee that all love brings is trouble, heaps of it. is there anything wrong with me? yes. most definitely. but i dont hate myself for the lack of love. why should i? ok. thinking too much.lost for words again. sheesh, is there and english class tt i can attend in poly?coz, my english is going down the drain, and i didnt get an A for nothing u know!!! suxx. fuck lar. i still think that i totally in the wrong course. why the fuck did i follow ambition, instead of passion? but i just followed the old saying, "dont let ur heart lead the way, let ur brains do the thinking." yeps, or was it, "follow ur head not ur heart" or that vice-versa? nvm. wateva it is, i cant revert time, so just come with the tide. nvm. another story for another time. boring everyone (including myself) with all this trash talk. urgh.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

seeking solace

seeking solace, warm embrace. where da fuck did tt come from?ok. wad an anti-climax statement. urgh..i need to get new pjs. my nice comfy old ones all have holes in them. sad....but their so ultra comfy.....ooooh. ok. finally...my computer is up and running. urgh. got back my disastrous obc prac test today. suxx. knew i wld fail. ahahhaa. well...i think i shld better lyke..start revising for obc,i know it sounds insane to start now,but my brain is still functioning at lecture #2 standard,so yea...in order to complete my slow and arduous obc revision,need to start now, u do the math. hehehe. fuck. need to pass my exams. pls, god help me. hahaha. ok, tt wont work. fookie dooks. bored to the grave. boredom eludes the feeling i have now. wad am i feeling? hmmm...let's pick another topic of absurdity today. *pick an imaginery book from the shelf and dusts it off* ok, let's see....*flip.flip.flip.* how abt existence? ok. i wanna use this blog lyke a kind-of-my-own-philosophical-rantings. smthg lyke a cross between socrates cafe and erm...a bit of sophie's world? yea. just my own thoughts of normal stuff, stuff tt most pple dont give two hoots abt. ok, just FYI,i started off with the marriage thing. i think im reaching the brink of insanity.(or am i already there? swimming in insanity?) ok. oooh..so happy..starsailor is back with new album..but doesnt sound tt good. prefer..sugar ray!!!yeps...or wad eva happened to tt band..travis? love them. ok. i kinda lyke all kindsa music. even opera! yea..got tt blind guy's cd..andrea bocelli. hella good. no doubt-love them too.ok. let's see..shall i touch on existence today?dont feel lyke it now.
oh wait.
let me fill in on my happenings first. oh. the stupid sec 2 youth mass. sucked. yeps. and screw the fucking penang trip. YEA! any FPs reading this part, fuck you! i dont wanna go for the penang trip..praying day and nite,i aint a fucking nun. i dont need to escape from reality with a buncha hypocrites(adult fuckers) and pretend to have fun in a foreign land. as i said, my other stuff(school,family and yes, most importantly - My Friends,of course their impt -duh!) are my top priorities.so listen up.
#1 - u cannot force me to go
#2 - when i say no..i mean NO!!!
#3 - feeling unsettled. have plenty of doubts.
#4 - fuck off.
thank you for ur kind attention.ok. on to hmm...think i shall do love talk.yea. i keep on thinking abt "it". i mean, how cld i've been so dumb? those who know who "it" is, hey..i know some of u know. ahhaha. gosh. i was dumb. i mean..how cld i have gotten sucha a wild idea lyke tT? to ever lyke "it"? ok..it's a pain calling the person "it" coz it's hard to type, so shall find a name..."sesame" okok. lame, but, it doesnt disclose anything to prying eyes.love can be sucha a funny thing. i can truthfully and honestly(aint they the same thing?) say tt i've neva been in love. i can have crushes on pple, lyke someone, wateva...but sparks neva flew, and i was neva head over heels in love with anyone.i mean, seriously..this ties in with my self-declaration on marriage. i mean. love can be a young boisterous feeling at first, but soon, lyke marriage, it binds u to ur spouse, making u choke, tighter,tighter, until u suffocate, and eventually die.when the love necrates(<-ahaha.science term!), it cant be rekindled, so a new one has to form. utter rubbish. im a-crapping now. ok..back to talking abt "sesame". ok, tt sux. shall just call it "frink".ok. frink and i..long story. stupid long story. ok. i think im turning. some pple might nt understand,some might, but if u do, then,keep it to urself.fuck it lar. no mood to type already.
ok. here's another thought to throw at ya. why does love affect so many sooo deeply? except me. fuck it. fuck love. i LOVE having friends. but i hate to LOvE. i guess my mind is warped. suxx. these days..i keep thinking abt frink. recently. how dumb i was. stupid me. why? my mind is swamped with frink.frink frink frink. urgh, wad an unsightly word. but frink's name is worse. ahhhh. when do u think im ready to come out and say tt im ____??im very curious abt it.i actually go read up on it.
tooo sleepy to continue. ok. check out the webbie below.


Monday, September 22, 2003

internet blues

*sigh* in sch now. my desktop crashed, so yea. havent been online in ages...(it's only been a week, but im practically dying!!!) yeps. managed to change my template! yea! this is nicer. okok. shall start posting again once my home comp is back in function. lalalalalala. cya.

Thursday, September 18, 2003

guess wad? im thinking.

ok, im too afraid to attempt to change the skin of my blog now, though i've found some super cool ones..as in..more to my liking,coz of the colours.yeps. so..wad's been going on with me life? not much. long and arduous journey. hmmm....oh,managed to pass my tests,though not sure abt physio. yeps. and guess wad? i have been proven to be a computer wiz now! yea!!! whY? coz i scored an A+ for ITP!!! ahahahhaa. wow. was so damn shocked at tt. ooooh. i've been "researching" on my vespas...sheesh..really want one now. as in rite now!! stupid parents... to quote them, "cars are better,their safer, i used to ride a motorbike(tt's dad!),blah-blah-blah..cars have 4 walls to shield you, i know ur gonna be a reckless driver," urgh..restrictions,barriers to achieving eternal bliss. yes, as i was speaking with nicole a while ago, we girls now understand why men get so stupidly in love with their vehicles..coz..vehicles..r sacred..they r a lover that we can neva..make love to? smthg lyke tt. my dream vehicles..no..i must get them!! Volkswagon beetle, and my VEspa!! the Vespa PX150 is sweet!!!!or the SPrints!!!but wad i really lyke r the Rally200 and the Allstate. woah..their lyke..sacred. okok. enough meaningless vespa rantings. Lambrettas arent too bad either!!the LD125 is nice! ahahaha. okok. wad else? oh, fuck shits, got to do tt stupid IS CATS thing on reliability..fuck lar. kathleen told me to come to sch..over my dead body!!
oh..how da hell do i add an image to my blog? i cant find the bloody html coding for it. forget. i still suck at computer stuff. lalalalala. fuck lar..i lost my stupid hospital form..so i gotta take a urine test..but dunno to test wad. damn fucking stupid me. okok.now gonna try my hand at editing some blog skins. sheesh. it's gonna take me..erm...3 months..so tune in then. so many days ahs passed on by, yet, i dunno wad to say now. coz maybe i woke up not too long ago. vespa!! yea..im trying to amke a vespa skin. coz i cant find any on the web!!!! yeps. vesssssssssspaaaaa!!! i cant even add a cool link i found!! well...just go check out this site pple : www.tshirthell.com its fucking cool! even the banner ads r cool...and they have lyke babyhell,etc,....ok..rite now gonna change my lappie desktop image to this toon girls riding a vespa. they look so..lesbian..ahaha. nah..they look lyke those gals at motor shows, u know..who pose on the vehicles..all clambered together..so more men wld buy the vehicle..each time thinking tt a woman wld be riding in it. i am mad. letting my wild imagination run away with me. oh yea! havent even written any decent fictitious stuff lately. stupid "square" poly course making me...dull,uncreative,boring. urgh. im boring!!!!!AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeps. the only stupid creative thing is CATS...and it suxx. not my cuppa tea. screw the motherfuckingwadevahisnameis CATS teacher.
have i mentioned that i neva wanna get marrried? or if i do..i dont eva wanna have kids?coz i fucking hate babies.yes..im mean,cruel.wateva u amy call it. but im just not a baby person. thing is..babies find me amusing,they wanna play with me, when all i feel lyke doing is kick them in the face. yes! take heed..keep ur children away from me..especially those between the ages of 3 - 9. yeps,. my sis is in tt age range(she's 8) and i cant stand the whiny little bitch. nah. sometimes she's fine...but she sure knows how to be a pain in the arse. yes..marriage...prob do it when im 50.then no chance for kids. well...ok.love may lead to marriage..but soon it wld lead to commitments(lyke financial ones),then responsibility for soemone else, soon, lead to hatred, exhaustion, no more freedom, then children. once these "awful defects of mankind" take centrestage, that's it. ur life is as good as over. ok. i see myself as a somewhat "bourgeoisie-istic" person. yes, i really wanna live on a ranch..or a farm. maybe bcoz ive neva been to one. i've been brought up in the urban environment,go for holidays in urban areas(coz my parents,mom in particular, do not fancy accomodating themselves in a barnyard), but all i wanna do is stay in a several acres land, with animals of many species,living side by side with the. horses, dogs, ctas, iguanas, cows, chickens,ducks, sheep, pigs, even exotic animals if possible. being a succesful veterinary, living on a ranch, spending my free time carrying out my passion(now, tt's a secret!) and just chilling in a place far from singapore. coz singaporeans are so fucking narrow-minded. they just cant except changes. and evry bit of change seems radical to them(look at the acceptance of homosexuals in the workforce, and allowing bartop dancing to make a comeback.)the media wld make sucha hoo0hah over it, thta soon enough, it wld surely become a restriction once again.if u know wad i mean. it suxx here. everything is censored beyond recognition. no one there's to come upfront abt issues bothering them. the government has instilled fear in us all. it calls for an uprising, but no one dares for fear of getting a "coveted" police record. tt's it? yes, it may be good to have such stringent rules,it prevents corruption, and bomb blasts and what-nots, but my heart pines for smthg known as "freedom of speech" whcih seems non-existent on this "sunny island". am i thinking too much? i dont think so. i look to use my brains for these aspects. yes, i tend to use my mind for personal interests rather than academics, so im still wondering if i was wise to choose a science course. ok. back to my self-debate. what is the use of correcting the movie age limits? doesnt the gov know tt the more u make a fuss over a certain censored movie, more pple wld then go looking for tt censored item. it's lyke telling a child not to touch something when ur gone, and when u come back, that object is broken. yes. it just invokes curiousity into the people. wad is so wrong that it had to get censoreD? it makes us all wonder..and when most of us do see the "censored clip/slide/picture/writing" we just shrug it off, or say "that's all?thought wad..chey" ahaha. smthg to tt effect. recently..ive been doing newspaper cuttings,and i came across several articles that expressed the views of the having racial issues in our schools. i mean, it's good that pple r willing to air their concerns in public forum lyke tt, but, nothing;'s being done abt it. we still have several chinese who think themselves superior,who r genuine racists. yes, cracking racist jokes r all in the name of fun, i mean i crack indian racist jokes to my indian friends,etc, and they dont take it to heart. it's a mutual understanding tt we all have. but i cant understand why pple can be so sensitive.yes, some jokes may be harsh...but these racial riots and indifferences are all caused by oversensitive pple. nothing else. tt the cause of it all. nowadays,everyone treats every arab person as a walking suicidal bomber,just coz we've been ingrained with the thought that terrorists=middle-easters. that's hurtful. yes. ok.ive typed so much,my fingers are exhausted(coz i only use two fingers to type, great,arent i? ahah) ok. shall go ponder over my thoughts again. i seem to lyke to think to myself a lot lately, maybe coz..there's no one else to talk to? i mean, everyone seems..so distant..and different. as in , this is not a common topic that i can discuss with anyone else. no one seems interested. maybe one person. but i dont communicate with him all the time. okok. yes, i love to joke,play arnd, talk cock, etc...just be carefree and worry-free, but, i lyke to think. alot. hahaha. unbelievable rite? joyce arriola thinking. yea. but these days. it seems the best thing to do.oh, i still dont think b4 i speak,but i think abt issues lar. ok. shall sign off here. look at the stupid quizzes i did. was bored.

You represent... playfulness.
You represent... playfulness.
Playfulness can often be mistaken for sluttiness or
flirtiness... Flirting is something you enjoy
doing, but you're mostly just about having fun.
You're into partying, and it's seems that
people enjoy your company as much as you enjoy

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

There is no doubt about it, you are a tomboy. You
dont care how you look or what people think
about you. All you care is that you are not
ready to grow up, you just want to stay the age
you are so you can climb trees and everything.
You r kinda like my best friend. Go you!

Are u a tomboy, prep, girlie girl, jock, or a nerd?(girls only, unless u r gay)
brought to you by Quizilla

swear word
your asshole.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Yea,that's rite...shuddup u stupid asshole!!!

Friday, September 05, 2003


IT'S WORKING!!!!! IT'S WORKING!!!!! IT'S WORKING!!!!! OMG...MY BLOG IS SUCCESSFUL...FINALLY...!!!!okok. shall calm myself down now. bloody hell. im fantastic. ahhahaha. could just huGg myself rite now! *huGg* hehehe. okok. forget abt my past angst over this minor webbie. now..shall enlighten u abt my yesterday!!! i just realized, coz i've been so fed-up with the lack of everything in my blog, that i kinda abandoned it!!!ok..continueing with ma escapades..ok..i lead a semi-boring life, so every little thing is exciting to me!! yeps. oh..here's to make this stupid electronic device jealous (see my insanity!!), for the past few days, i've been writing manually in my diary!!!tt's paper!!!! hah!!! ok. i have been driven rite over the brink of insanity..i've driven it off the map!!! hMmmmM...oh yea!!! yesterday was me last bloody common test, so wqent to paint the town red after tt!!! hahahaha!! ok, update u on physio test first - it was no biggie!! im sure i wld pass, unless..of unforeseen circumstances, but yea..it was a breeze, considering i spent a total of abt 4 hrs, trying to cram information of lyke a decade long into my fragile brain. yea. but i finished it in lyke 20 minutes..!!w0wee!!hehex. after tt, headed to town to catch.....LEGALLY BLONDE 2!!!!!!! YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! absolutely love tt show!! it's undeniably the best bimbo movie ever!! coz it shows a smimbo!!!(<- tt's smart bimbo!!) hehehehe..really had tons of laughs..tears were practically trickling down my cheeks, not at the sad parts, but at the extremely, superbly splendidly funny parts!!i really gotta get the vid for tt,since i alreadY have the first one. it's definitely a collectile to me!! oh, saw mrs lim at lido!! yea, wow, so sad, how cld she quit ij?? anyway, chatted with her briefly,glad she's still her same old self. hehex. oh yea!!! i really cant express how i feel abt the show...spiffy?..ok. dunno why dora and audrey left so fast, but benji,yao and i went to...ZARA!!!!!OMG!!!!! the clothes for these season is absolutely gorgeous!! o0o0o0o0oh, i just fell in love with a black jacket and the tops!! oh yea, then yao and i went googled eyed over the kids clothes!! it aint fair tt the kids get trendier clothes in comparison to the adults!!! really cool.....plus..zara was practically empty!!! wish it wld be empty on sale days as well.!!! yea rite..as if. okok..oh..guess shldnt post this here but..shall..i saw..someone at zara, no..dont think anyone knows who, but i was pretty surprised, it seemed that the person pretended not to notice me, but it was evident that "it" did. okok..gotta sign off, coz my fucking bro is bugging me to let him use the comp...fuck him!!!

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

fuck lar.

fuck lar. aint working. i betcha tt this entry dont show up as well. plus...my skin aint changing either..blog skin i mean. fookie dooks. urgh. a real turn off this blog is starting to be. maybe shall start a new one.yea! great idea. okok. shall do just tt.yeps. why didnt i think of tt earlier? anyway..got somethings tt are just inappropriate for my fragile fingers to type. *heh* yups..trusty old idary is better anyday..over this electronic non-substance...useless piece of junk..mindless dimwit..urgh..wad a turn-off. yeps.

Monday, September 01, 2003

wad da hell!!!

how come i cant see anything or publish anything? where is everything? foooking blogger. urgh.