eluding the real me

aqualung - jethro tull
the bravery - out of line
baha men - best years of our lives
micheal buble & nelly furtado - quando quando quando
rogue wave - endless shovel


Sunday, August 29, 2004

lazy sunday

yet another day,in fact, it's the last day of term break,yet i havent a clue what to do to enjoy myself. and it's also the first time ever that i spent so much time online these past few days. wow. anyhow, had dinner with almost everyone on saturday.went late. and i was majorly under-dressed. hahaha. not my fault. thought we were going marina for steamboat what, and it wasnt exactly a breezy day. oh well, despite the steep price(as compared to cheapskate marina), the food was well worth the money. i was so damn stuffed. coca rocks!!!and for the love of god, someone tell me what is "FISH GLUE" really made of? when trina told me to try it, i was like, eeew!!!! i dont wanna eat smthg that sticks fish back together. gross. but it was scrumptious. hahhahaa. nice. hahaa. i think everyone majorly overate. and all you skinny-binnys, ate the most!!attacking the crabs. salvaging almost every morsel of food. i tell you. up till now,im not feeling very hungry still, maybe coz i havent excreted anything yet from last night.

and some things never change!!!! ahhahaa. omg, it's been quite some time since we all met up, and it's fun! admit it pple, it 's fun!!despite us being exceptionally noisy, you know that when abunch of ij girl come together, there's bound to be craziness in the air. we were so unbelievably loud,that i think that was the reason the waitresses looked so 'pek chek' with us. hahaha. and why they like gave us so little stuff on one plate.but it's a buffet,so we cld just continue ordering our fill. well...the insane things to talk abt. the scotch-tape and microphone banging!!!!hahahhaha. wad a topic. oh man, how i wish stupid things like that could happen again. i'll give up anything just to have the same funny antics we had then. hahhaha. and bitching about other pple,and finding out what happened to some others. gossip. loved tt movie. and gossiping is quite a passionate hobby, as i can clearly see from all of you. LIN: u read my blog? leave some sign of your presence! i didnt know. i didnt even know u knew about the internet!!!! oh wait,all of us did. rmb the 'freevote' thingys?ahahhahahahaha. if only it was still around. nicole phua - black dog! wtf was tt abt? ok then....cya sometime soon(or not so soon.) ok. oh yes, good luck for your prelims pple. it's a very important "event" so pls attend them. ehhe being exceptionally lame. but ,oh well. RENA: going off once again. when would we get to see you?? next yeaR? oh well, have fun there with shawn, and your computer-addict roommate!heehhe. will miss you truckloads once again!!!!!

had an unusually normal conversation with someone yesterday(technically in the wee hours of this morning).well, all i can say at this point of time is that things seem to be on the brighter side??? at least i have a better understanding of where their coming from,and know how to better handle the situation, by not jumping to horrific conclusions. let's just do the 'au naturale' on monday.yeps.

today, went to church with nicky!!!!!!!! hey-ho nicky-wicky!! do not fear, joyce will steer! ok,tt was utter nonsense. but had a mighty fine time with you. and it's been a long time since i had 'fun' inn churchh. yes. observing allhte pple arnd us. and me telling the stupid baby to quit staring at me. i hate all babies,cute or ugly, so stay away from me or i'll wring your necks you pathetic puny mutants!!!! and yes, we sat on level 2, so we cld see some pple below. ahaha. nicky caught sight of a balding guy with an enormous head, an di cant belive i scooted over just to see his head!!!!true, it was huge!!!hahahaha. i think pple arnd us found us distracting and insane. i know it's a place of worship,but when u have someone cantoring(singing solo) so badly upfront, and a preist so boring he cldn't save me for the world, then u'll appreciate the colourful characters seated around you more. ahhaa. but, for the 5 mins i listened,he actually made some sense,or smthg related to my life. smthg abt getting pleasure out of gossip and insults. ahahhaa. but isnt that how everyone is like?not really pleasure, but just getting a kick out of hearing some stuff abt some pple. yes,and jsut bitched abt pple yesterday right? so it has come full circle. ok. nothing more to say.

*i do have smthg else to say! look at the entries!!! all odd numbers! 23,25,27 and today is 29!!!!!!!ahahahhahahahaa.

Friday, August 27, 2004


wow, it's gone just like that. so fast. over. yeps, not much of a holiday, especially since i had to go back to school to see ong lai's face. eew. im crossing my fingers(knotting them up) hoping i really pass the overall exam of ipc. and everything else of course. im obsessed with academics. help. im starting to become a geek.not as smart as nerds, but have the same fiery passion on academics. ahaha. nah. dont think im geek/nerd material anyway. am i? ahaha.

bought my soccer boots today! rocks...their maroon. ehehehe. their not for soccer,for softball, but same difference. so am i ready for tmr's game? erm....i dont think so. just gonna give it my best.tt's the spirit. ahhaa.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

The Bleeding Philosophy


heyya all,my common tests are finally over,and im having free and easy days now. not! oh, to ben: i dont care, i have to sign up for driving this week or next week latest, my mom is bugging me to the max, and i want a car of my own,so should sign up asap. sad thingis, she's still against me getting a vespa, despite it being 72957203875032708752075087527527287287328 times cheaper than a car. darn it. ok, ccta today was.....great!!!finally smthg that i feel confident i would pass. unless, nvm. shall be optimistic.


usually bestowed upon every female in the primes of her life, i thought i was unlucky when mine hardly showed up. everyone had a monthly pass, mine was seasonal. now though, it's as frequent as the rain. just on monday, the red robe was bestowed upon me once again, in all it's glory and splendour. how i hate to accept it, yet, many women categorize it as sort of a passing out ceremony, the saying goes, "you won't appreciate it, till you miss it." sure, im fine living without this feminine characteristic.
i guess by now, everyone can tell im talking about the female period. menstruation. menses. blood. pad time. some associate it with pms. whatever it is, i hate it, and im having it now. for the first time min my life, im bleeding profusely from downunder. help. it's not a pretty sight. i shall highlight to all the male species reading this: it sucks when you bleed.
the blood begins as any usual blood you see when u get a cut or graze, it's bright red. then, as the pad starts filling to the brim, the colour turns shades darker. and you know wad's so funny? have you ever noticed that your sanitary pad becomes considerably heavier after you're done with it? ok, im being very gross here, but im overwrought with grief due to this. urgh! the viscosity of the blood discharged is so high. it's like a red mucousy substance, i cant believe it passed through my sensitive area. this is such a taboo topic, but heck. okay, i feel so icky. this is the reason why i dont really wanna go out, despite being over and done with my tests. i just feel so gross. im grossed out by myself. yucks.
why did god create the female to bleed in such an awkward way? is it really necessary to make us suffer so? *ponder*. you know, in the old days, before the sanitary pad was invented, what did the women wear to protect themselves? WHAT??? did they just go around underwearless and leave a trail wherever they go? or did they devise some sort of catchment thing to collect it? oh well. i'll never know, coz no one's alive to tell me about it. even if there was someoe alive, they wont be able to rmb a time without a sanitary pad.
oh no! what if im stranded at sea one day, and i suddenly got my period? wouldn'y sharks be drawn to the scent of blood? despite it being deemed 'dirty' blood? i think so. ok, back to my age-old saying, i not ever intending on having kids, so should i get a ligation? when a person gets a ligation, does that mean they stop menstruating as well? if no, then i shant waste my money. man, there must be some way of stopping it. ok...go think of a way, and tell me. fuck...i feel something squishy.

Monday, August 23, 2004

my darling star
copyright my ass

Thursday, August 19, 2004


addiction. what a formal term to use to describe my obsession with television. ok, im not obsessed with the goggle box, more like addicted to the programmes it airs. i'll watch anything. anything at all. except foreign shows,unless their movies,or in french(with subtitles of course). anyhow, i proved my point today. woke up, attempted to study,ok...i really got some things into my thick skull today. coz i have invented a new study tactic for myself - READING ALOUD(and analysing aloud as well). seriously,it works. try it when no one's home. ahaha. so there i was, reading aloud,repeating the same garble over annd over, and there it sat. beautiful iron gray, smooth on one side, bulky on the next....decorated with medals and knick-knacks. omg...im in love with the tv in my living room. yes,that one, coz the one in my room aint got cable!!ahha. anyhow...i managed to fend of the temptation of switching it on - until my stupid brother came home. it's like a routine for him. he wld switch on the tv,channel surf for 15-20 mins,go and bathe,then either eat or go to his room and do god-knows-wad except to study. so there i sat. glued to my seat. 2 remotes in hand. ogling at the wonderful world of television. once there was nothing interesting on hbo/starworld/axn/hallmark, i would switch to nickolodeon/disney/cartoon network. by then, if those shows that i cringe at come on,i wld switch to the all-time unmovable channel - animal planet. i tell you, once i turn to '10',im stuck..i can just go..one animal aft another...mating/hunting/eating/healing, whatever. ok..enough about my crazy addiction.

my IE is not functioning at home..so a darl of a friend sent me this browser called "opera". pretty cool. so yeps...i have to check out my home internet system. darn this wireless home crap.

oh, i wanted to type smthg,but i forgot. hmm...*after a 23-min break*... ok..rmb that i wanted to say smthg? yeps...anyway..went out with rena for lunch on monday...caught 'the notebook' welll,like the book,the first few minutes were abitsy dull, but the end was pretty heart-wrenching. but i dont cry,so stop asking if i did.hah. oh!!! a guy sitting in front of us did though,but tt's not the funny part. when there was this awkward sex scene, he put his head in his tee, and stuck his fingers in his ears,and told his friends to tell him when it was over,coz he cldnt bear to see it. ahahhahaa. it was hilarious. ok...didnt mean to talk abt the cinema. saw alyssa from ij. rmb? the case of the 'hippo & friends' thingy in sec 3? ahahhaa. and a whole bunch of pple filled the corridor,just bcoz of smthg i said at a party. darn it. though it was kinda funny. anyhow, met her in heeren, and she seems all grown up. and the two of us cld carry out a decent conversation,without digging up the not too far past. it seems that,i dunno, despite what pettiness happened in the past,and htough we were never friends, sometimes, it's just comforting to see someone familiar amongst a sea of strangers i guess,no matter who they may be. im just glad that, on my part at least, i was mature enough to handle the situation.ok,it's not a situation speaking to her, but knowing my own ways, i wld have laughed and passed a funny/snide remark. but, i dunno...much has changed, and well...im getting tired of making fun of pple.most pple.well, with age comes maturity,and hopefully a little more wisdom. meeting alyssa set me thinking to where all the other pple are at this moment. as in my own batch of ij pple. u know, besides those i know of those who are overseas or in jc/poly, there are some which, simply vanished into thin air! thinking...whatever. not like im so free to go in search of pple,but yea. whatever.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

from depths unknown
to lengths not yet perturbed,
i feel the lust,
eternal urge
a rush of blissful love
trying to find someone to caress
kisses that make me hunger for more
passion like a fire that never dies
rekindled at every dark turn in life
faith that rides along
ensuring me of something there
cherishing those moments forever
the strongest feeling of them all
what i want is you.

yeps...does it sound weird? suddenly came when im studying for ipc. fuck. wrong sort of chemistry i was aiming at. hah. maybe it's coz of what sean said last night. his 'desire' of sorts. oh well. i dont desire anything 'cept scoring good grades. seriously. desires, what are they? be them lustful, surreal, practical, we all have one, whether we admit it or not. i still am not used to the idea of studying. oooh!!! alvin, sorry i cldnt go down today. i didnt even go for my own training. im uber ill. and it sucks. i hate being sick. for one thing, i cant stop sneezing. and for the next, whenever i do sneeze...a dam breaks open and a river of snot flies everywhere. seriously. i need to like sit still,accompanied by a whole box of tissue. the fan kills me eyes,makes me sleepy, and the air-conditioner triggers my sneezes. sheesh. how am i going to survive a hot daY? thankfully, today is rather breezy. ok,zipping off once again. shld i stop blogging altogether? where did that come from? i'll still blog,coz i have such dull nights in my life. though presently,im typing in the day. whatever. im confused. ive succesfully managed to fuddle my brain up. *tweak*. nothing can repair it. my sentences dont have any connections. disjointed. links. not feeling in the right state of mind. bear with me. make it bare. aha. bear - roar!. okok. oh wait! bare - naked? right? whatever. puns. stupid. homonyms. stupid. ive lost my sense of english. is english a sense? yeps..the 7th sense. whatever. being lame. lame. e-lam. dont get it? than you're 'wols'. yes, i finally understood wols a few months ago. i guess i'm the tsewols of them all. heh. let's attepmt to write everything backwards.

'ayyeh!! m'i tsuj gnieb yrev emal ereh. lla i yllaer annaw od si peels, tub i t'nac zoc ev'i tog nommoc stset gnimoc pu noos. tinmad. m'i yllautca gnitteg etiuq doog ta siht. revetahw. eyb rof won. *sdnuos ekil emos ngierof egaugnal. heh. eheh. '

Wednesday, August 11, 2004


lalalalalalalallalala!!!!!!! i aint got school tmr, yay! techinically,today,but who careS? anyhow..will have to spend my day studying though. ahaha. oooh,,,right now, my upper lip is like bulging, making me look like some deformed goldfish. darn it., the ball hit me in the lip today, bunted into my own face. anyhow, went for psf today,and lo and behold who did i see? *cough*. gross. anyway, shant reveal here, since i dont know who on this earth is reading this,and would tattle on me,in all irony though, i dont care. well, it's a free world pple. ive just come to a realization(slow, aint i?) that i tend to dislike alot of pple. most of them dont know my intense dislike for them,and it seems to be that the pple i dislike the most are those who are unaware. i am truly an oddity. heck. its not my fault that i suddenly developed these hating spells. heh. well, i know it has been the cause of most of my problems, but it cant be helped. what can i do when im boreD?i tend to over-observe pple,their behaviour and mannerisms,no, im not a stalker or obsessed weirdo, jsut plain bored. bear with me. whatever lar. i dont care about anything anymore, my main concern is passing all my modules this sem. i dont want to be left behind. no way. oooh, alvin's friend...stanleY? told me to d/l this system for mp3s, and it's fantastic!!! be d/ling the whole time...now, from zero songs, i have 125. not bad. ahahahaa. it's really zippy fast. hah. ok. watching 'SATC' on hbo now. surprised they didnt censor tt much,as in, u can still understand what's going on. ahhaha. saw some episodes before, so can compare the censorship rates. okok. bored alreadY. bye bye bye. (<--hate tt stupid n'sync song.ok...think it was kinda catchy b4..but eew...)

Friday, August 06, 2004

short one(not!)

going to rant about studying again. i know it's boring, but i feel that i need to say something about it. i shall solemnly vow to study without reason,meaning to study in advance. gosh. golly gosh. hate it. failing. failure is but a learning experience,but failing all the time just proves one thing: im not cut out for this!!!! feeling so exhausted now. and irate. and....whatever. aaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fucked up.

Thursday, August 05, 2004


studying sucks. big time. or is it just me?

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

they never appear

this template sucks,all my itneresting(not!) blog titles never appear. anyway, im so fucking bored now!!!!! alone for 2 whole hours, sitting at some 'marine life' study area. ahaha. did the school think that by painting murals of dolphins and seashells, it would be conducive environment for studying? i was just fascinated by the sand and seashells in a glassbox mounted on the wall. looks like a fish tank without fish(and water!). but i have to say, it is pretty windy. know what? think i'll hang out here mor often,when i have these absurdly long breaks. so remote,serene,quiet. except that now there's a buncha noisy cheena pias hanging out here with me,so tt's why i cant revise for my ccta coz,just discussing maths,they can make so damn much noise. nerdy noisemakers. grrrr. oh, some asshole must have been trying to attract live animals to this area,coz the floor is littered with slices(and pieces) of bread. what the fuck. retarded. anyhow, i guess instrumentation is a defintie fail! gosh. hope everything else would be a pass. my ipc practical test today seemed mighty fine,maybe coz i was anticipating the qs. i knew everything,and it feels good to know stuff. damn, if only i could feel like that th efirst time round. so much has been happening. oooooh!!!!!!!!!!!! before i forget(how could i forget?) , watched private parts on sunday!!!!! it rocked, the wit,humour,tense moments. excellent!!! though some of the perfromers didnt act too well, i'll take my hat off the 3 dancers!!!! they were fantastic. ahahha. esp with their opening number,the sort-of strip show. ok, loved the script,felt some actors didnt fit the role. though the guy that played mirabella was super manly, he did a good job of getting into character. it was so funny, my sides were aching with laughter cramps. but the serious moments,were well, pretty breathtaking. especially at one point i thought that warren would actually share a kiss with mirabella....!!!! eeew! i would have laughed out of nowhere,but you know, everyone(audience) could feel the vibe that we should anticipate a kiss from them. cool shit. llalalalalalala. next production i wanna catch is local too!!! revenge of the dim sum dollies!!!!! woo-hoo. ahhahaa. it's cheaper,and more frivolous, but it's highly acclaimed,and provides enjoyment with entertainment! yay! ok. now im bored again. oh, thnks for loaning me your laptop to keep me company throughour this boring 2 hours, alvin1!!!! but just to say, thnks to the math geeks(not referring to the maths club pple,bcoz they were pretty funny) i can tplay childish games. oh no...more cheena pias just rolled in. freshies. this guys is wearing a light-blue long-sleeve ultraman tee. gros. omg, ah-lian wannabes. eeew. im such a label-queen. but it's true...just look at them for urself. "shee-shaw-chee-bai-kanina-hao-bu-shui-shee-shaw" wadever chinese crap their uttering to themselves. crazy. yr 1, but they've got a whole encyclopedic collection of research. insane. year 1s!!!!! relax....take a break...omg. if weird pple are gonna come here everyday,then i wldnt mind coming here and just observing them. ahahhaa. it's annoying,but entertaining. u know, like a bruise u have,and just wanna press it to feel the pain. i call it 'pleasurable pain'. yeps. try it one day. ur own bruise!!!not pressing someone else's!!!! okok. oh, joke from my ditzy grandma(she's my maternal grandma mind you,and real grandma!!! 80+ yr old lady,not some this is my jie/kor/mama/papa family thingy pple play!!!ahaha.) ok, i forgot the joke now. damnit. nvm. bye.